For The Angels.

(Tears In Heaven: Eric Clapton)

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way, through night and day
Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knee
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please 

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more...
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven
Will it be the same
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven 

There is a deep love that I have in my heart for anyone that has lost a friend, family member, pet or anything that they loved. I know how it feels and I know what it is like to experience the excruciating pain that death brings upon us. I pray for every soul that has hurt and for every person that has been touched by death. God is with you and angels are with your loved ones and your loved ones watch you everyday with a smile on their faces. May light and happiness fill every soul that is aching and may they come to peace. When they cry, let them cry tears of  joy and not tears of pain. My they live a long and healthy live and let them move forward with all the strength needed to go through another day. I love all of you out there, whether you are reading this or not. And I pray for all of you out there. And I hurt with all of you out there and I rejoice with all of you as well. Be happy. Be loving. Go through life with a smile on your face. You never know if the person you smile at needed that smile to reassure them they are worth living. Reach out a friendly hand and help your neighbor. Even if he/she has done you wrong. Be thankful for all that you are given and more important, be thankful for all that has been taken away. We are all beautiful souls. We all have a special light. and it is our duty to share that light with everyone that we can while we still walk the streets of this beautiful world.  

This is how I feel right now. right now and forever. For my great grandma and grandpa Ischkum, Mamaw and Papaw, Grandma and Grandpa Bonadonna, Aunt Sherl, Uncle Ben, Nani, cousin Amanda, Sima Bambouyani, Damian F, Dean Berhow, my baby brother James, and cousin Angelo. Rest In Peace, feel my love, and say hello to all angels up in heaven. I know you are watching me and all the family smiling at us and helping us get through every day. 

Until next time,

Have love.

A Shutter, A Love, A Shatter, A Loved.

A SHUTTER.

February fifth my cousin Angelo passed away. I was in complete disbelief for about a week. It finally hit me on February twenty-fifth that things would never be the same. I pray every night that things will be okay. And for the well being of his family and all of his extended family as well.

A LOVE.

You know that feeling you get when you walk outside and you step into the sunshine and it hits your face? The warmth that overwhelms you and the happiness you feel? Well, I know four people that do that to me. For personal reasons I will use false names for them.. Brian, Ashton, Stephan, Louis. 

Brian is rather far. We haven't spoken in a while but he means the world to me. Also, I love his family as if they were my own. <3

Ashton. A short but sweet interaction that ended sooner than I had hoped. He makes his 50/50 decisions.. and I standby and watch to see what happens.

Stephan is someone I see so much, and I learn new things about him every time we are together. I realized recently that I love everything about him. He's also very strange.

Louis is a person who is misguided beyond belief. We rarely speak these days but I think of him constantly.

A SHATTER.

The breaking of one's heart can happen for oh so many reasons. From the death of a cherished pet or loved family member, a loss of self control, or a low self esteem. To each their own is how I see the way a heart breaks. 

Let me tell you a story of a girl who has a heart that not only breaks.... but it shatters. 

She is so quick to fall in love and never thinks twice until she sees that the end might be near. Nothing ever gets in her way and she always goes for what she wants. Of course, there is one condition. She wants everyone around her to be happy so she makes her choices based on everyone else's happiness. Well, she has recently been told that decisions are a 50/50 thing with the chance of the choice you made blowing up in your face. Well, most recently, it wasn't her own choice that blew up in her face and caused her to hurt. It was the reaction of someone else's decision. With the pain of that person's choice piked atop a many other issues including the death of a loved one, she shattered. Silently. With nothing but the slightest outbursts of rage. Now she sleeps at night and dreams of all the things she wants to see happen and wakes up at five in the morning dreading going through the day. She feels shattered. She feels incomplete. But she has hope. 

A LOVED.

I know that some girls call the ones that they have loved in the past that have either done them wrong or the situation did not end up the way they wished as their "loved." " I loved him" they would say. Well, it is my duty to make sure that all those that I have ever had any feelings for very rarely went away. In many cases they remained my friends and that is all I could ask for. the love I have in my heart will never stop for anyone. No matter how many wrong doings are done, to me or in any manner. I love all and I give many more chances than they are deserving of. I hope no one ever feels they are deprived of my love. 

To anyone who has read this, I am aching. I do not look for pity. I just wish to express myself. Whether it be happy or painful. I see all criticism as constructive and there is only one way to go in this life. and that was it UP.

Until next time,

Keep on smilin'.

"Love is radiant."

 Radiance is the sun.

I found this picture and I think it captures the world's utmost beauty.